RSVP. répondez s'il vous plaît. Respond please or please respond.
OR
OMFG Whyyyy has only 1/4 of the people invited said they are coming! What are the other 75% dooooiiiiing?!?!!?
I never understand why people can't RSVP to things. Is it because they can't come? Don't want to come? Don't yet know if they are going to come? Forgot?
Whatever it is, it is most definitely, without a doubt RUDE to NOT RSVP. Whether you are coming or not. Especially to weddings.
I'm not a big fan of spending a lot of money on wedding invitations... but some people do. We bought ours from Michael's and printed on them ourselves. I probably spent about $100 on invitations with Michael's coupons, and we wasted a whole bunch trying to get the printer to print properly. We also still have almost a whole box of 30 left over.
What was my point there? Oh! Some people spend a lot of money on wedding invitations, only to have about 20% of them thrown right into the trash or "lost." Think about that when you get one next time and toss it in the garbage right away! Someone spent a lot of time and potentially money on that! Maybe there's a little blood too from all the paper cuts...
Anyhoozit.
The bottom line is... If you get an invitation with an 'RSVP by' date, do it. Most people opt to send the RSVP envelopes with a stamp already on them, so all you have to do is write your name and the name of your guest(s) and put it in your mailbox!
OHH!! And that little line, the mysterious M_______________. The M is there for a reason and so is the line. The M is there for you to begin writing Mr./Mrs./Miss whatever... followed by the names of ALL of the guests attending. I know there's never enough space, but write all of the names anyway.. it's ok if they aren't all on the line.. write them underneath! Hell, use the back of the card to write the names, just put them SOMEWHERE. And PLEASE do NOT send response cards back with no name on them.. how do you expect people to know who the flying monkey butts you are?!
The 'Maybe'
The maybe is.. well. Rude AND sucky. Here's the dealio. Most wedding venues/caterers (and this is if you are NOT catering your own wedding) (why would you do that?) require that you give them a final headcount at least 2 weeks in advance. Some may be in as little as a week but it all depends on the size of the venue and the types of events they cater to. So! If you say, "I don't know if we are going to come yet. Put us down as 'maybe'" The bride has to guestimate how many people to add to her list. You probably won't be the only maybe, so let's just say that for every 100 people, there's probably 10 "maybes" Our venue cost is inclusive of quite a few things. Venue, catering, open bar for 3.5 hours, DJ and cake for $88 per person for the meal package we chose. So $88 x 10= $880! That's a lot of money for a "maybe!"
I would say, just to be safe, if someone says they are a "maybe" tell them to let you know two and a half weeks out. If they are still a "maybe" then, count them out.
They also say that you should expect at least 20% of the people you invite to decline the invitation, and 15-20% to ignore your free stamp and very important deadline. A good estimate for out of town guests accepting is probably 55%. Of course, this depends on the relative wealth of your invited guests and age. Meaning, if they po, they prolly ain't comin! If they old and crippled, they prolly ain't comin! If they old AND po, they definitely ain't comin!
Sorry....
We invited about 130 people to our wedding with a goal of no more than 100 actually showing up. Our RSVP by date was March 25th and since then, we have received about 76 yes's, 15ish No's and 10ish "maybe's." Most of our guests are out of towners (not in the Tri-State area of Virginia, DC or Maryland).
So...(and I didn't do these calculations until AFTER writing all of the other stuff!! Creeeepyyyy)
58% of our invited guests said YES.
8% said MAYBE
11% said NO
23% have not responded <--------FAAAAAAILLLLLLLLL
Pretty close to the guestimations "they" set out.
Who are "they" anyway? I dunno.
Showing posts with label wedding etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding etiquette. Show all posts
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wedding Etiquette- Bridesmaid Duties
Bridesmaid duties... They are pretty similar to the Maid of Honor duties, but may include more following directions from the MOH or bride and executing. Of course, the bridesmaids are always included in the planning process, around for input on dresses/hair/make-up etc. They are also there to help the bride with anything she may need help with.
Some common Bridesmaid duties may include:
Pre Wedding:
Of course, there are many things that you may or may not do as a Bridesmaid. The most important thing is to be there for the bride and assist her when she needs help. Planning a wedding is stressful! She will need all the support she can get!
Some common Bridesmaid duties may include:
Pre Wedding:
- Playing a supportive role for the bride in the planning process
- Shopping for the wedding dress with the bride
- Shopping for Bridesmaid dresses with the bride
- I think this is a VERY important step. With my bridesmaids, I wanted to make sure the dresses looked good on ALL of them. I have seen many BMs wear HORRIBLY ugly and unflattering dresses because they looked good on some of the BMs but not all of them. Some brides don't care, and want what they want.... but I wanted my bridesmaids to be comfortable and look good too!
- Shopping for accessories for the wedding day
- Helping the bride plan the details for the wedding
- Helping to plan the bridal shower/engagement party/bachelorette party
- Address invitations if the bride needs help
- Help the bride and/or groom register for items for their Registry if help is needed
- Spread the word about where the bride and groom are registered
- Attend and help out during the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
- this day can be confusing and stressful. The bride and groom may need help to keep the ball rolling to get things accomplished. Some venues only allow you to practice for a short amount of time without having to pay for your time there!
- Run last minute errands
- Assist with wedding vendors- check off arrivals of equipment/deliveries and make sure they go where they need to (if no Coordinator is available)
- Assist the bride with getting ready
- Assist other bridesmaids in getting ready
- Check on the groom and groomsmen and make sure they are running ON TIME!
- Witness the signing of the marriage license
- Stand in the receiving line (this is kind of old fashioned. The last time I went to a wedding that did this, I was 6 and it was 1992)
- Serve as a hostess at the wedding reception, introducing guests, showing them where to go, etc.
- Carry the brides wedding gown train as necessary
- help to bustle the train before the reception begins
- Accompany the bride to the restroom if she needs help!
Of course, there are many things that you may or may not do as a Bridesmaid. The most important thing is to be there for the bride and assist her when she needs help. Planning a wedding is stressful! She will need all the support she can get!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wedding Etiquette- Maid of Honor Duties
Being only 24, I haven't had the opportunity to participate in any weddings. Except when I was 5 or 6 and my sister and I were flower girls in my parent's wedding...but that doesn't count. I have attended countless weddings as a guest, however. I had never been to a bridal shower until I had my own, and I have never been to a bachelorette party.
So what's a girl (or bridesmaid) to do when she is put in the position to take on the duties that require her to throw a bachelorette party/bridal shower or any other wedding related events? Learn.
If you don't know how to do a math problem, you try to figure it out on your own at first. If you can't figure it out, maybe you do a little research...look for similar problems that have been solved and try again. If that doesn't work, maybe then you set aside your pride and ask someone for help.
It's the same concept when you are in someone's wedding. If you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, you ask OR you find out through research. Nowadays it is SO easy to find the answer to almost everything just by typing a word or phrase into Google. You just have to be willing to put a little effort into it (read- TRY) and wade through a couple useless websites/articles/blogs, etc... Go to your local library! I guarantee you will find at least a handful of books on wedding etiquette that include helpful information.
So what ARE the duties of your bridesmaids and Maid of Honor? I'm going to try and go over a few in the next couple of posts, based on what I've learned and from my own wedding experience...
*Edit: January 28th, 2011 @5:40pm. This is by no means a "you HAVE to do this" type of thing! Everyone's situation is different and every bride is different in the things she wants her bridal party to do/help her with...You may not have to lift a finger! This is just a compilation of the more traditional roles...*
Maid of Honor (also- Matron of Honor if she is married):
If you have been chosen to be a Maid of Honor, it is most likely because the bride feels that you are her closest, truest friend (and sometimes relative), and she believes you will be there for her throughout the wedding planning process. The MoH is most often the best friend of the bride or sister.
Think of the MoH as a chairmanwoman of the board...a board of bridesmaids. It is your duty to keep everyone on the same page as far as wedding details/events go, and also to help keep the bride sane.
Often times, if the bride has selected multiple bridesmaids, they may not all know eachother or live in the same state. The MoH should initiate some ice breaking and contact the bridal party to get the ball rollin'. This can be done by making phone calls, or sending out an email to everyone. The MoH must always be very polite and tactful when sending emails, to ensure that no one takes anything said the wrong way. Sarcasm and humor can often come across as snarkiness in an email, even when it wasn't meant that way.
Now that we have that down... let's get into the nitty gritty.
Main Duties-Pre Wedding
Whew!! That's all I can think of for now.. if I remember any more, I'll add them later. Hopefully this can help someone so they don't have to endure the stress that I am with the whole process... More to come! :)
So what's a girl (or bridesmaid) to do when she is put in the position to take on the duties that require her to throw a bachelorette party/bridal shower or any other wedding related events? Learn.
If you don't know how to do a math problem, you try to figure it out on your own at first. If you can't figure it out, maybe you do a little research...look for similar problems that have been solved and try again. If that doesn't work, maybe then you set aside your pride and ask someone for help.
It's the same concept when you are in someone's wedding. If you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, you ask OR you find out through research. Nowadays it is SO easy to find the answer to almost everything just by typing a word or phrase into Google. You just have to be willing to put a little effort into it (read- TRY) and wade through a couple useless websites/articles/blogs, etc... Go to your local library! I guarantee you will find at least a handful of books on wedding etiquette that include helpful information.
So what ARE the duties of your bridesmaids and Maid of Honor? I'm going to try and go over a few in the next couple of posts, based on what I've learned and from my own wedding experience...
*Edit: January 28th, 2011 @5:40pm. This is by no means a "you HAVE to do this" type of thing! Everyone's situation is different and every bride is different in the things she wants her bridal party to do/help her with...You may not have to lift a finger! This is just a compilation of the more traditional roles...*
Maid of Honor (also- Matron of Honor if she is married):
If you have been chosen to be a Maid of Honor, it is most likely because the bride feels that you are her closest, truest friend (and sometimes relative), and she believes you will be there for her throughout the wedding planning process. The MoH is most often the best friend of the bride or sister.
Think of the MoH as a chair
Often times, if the bride has selected multiple bridesmaids, they may not all know eachother or live in the same state. The MoH should initiate some ice breaking and contact the bridal party to get the ball rollin'. This can be done by making phone calls, or sending out an email to everyone. The MoH must always be very polite and tactful when sending emails, to ensure that no one takes anything said the wrong way. Sarcasm and humor can often come across as snarkiness in an email, even when it wasn't meant that way.
Now that we have that down... let's get into the nitty gritty.
Main Duties-Pre Wedding
- Be the bride's support! Not everything always goes as planned in the wedding process, and the bride might get overwhelmed at times. It helps to have someone to vent to.
- Keep in contact with all bridesmaids throughout the process and relay pertinent information as necessary.
- Throw the bride and groom an engagement party. Now this is something that not many people do anymore (I've never been to one)... and often, if they are having one, the bride or groom's family throws it instead. Check with the bride and groom's family and see if they are planning one first. If you decide to do it, consider making it a surprise, but you could also ask the bride if she wants to have one. Many people decide to opt out because of cost. Parties get expensive!
- Host a bridal shower for the bride with the help of the bridesmaids. Traditionally, the MoH incurs the cost of the bridal shower, but in modern times (yea, modern) the MoH and bridesmaids often agree to share the costs. The MoH can also ask the bride or groom's family for input if they don't plan on throwing a separate shower. People have MORE THAN ONE? Apparently! I only had one...but I have met many people who have had as many as 5 bridal showers before their wedding!
- Help the bride shop for her wedding gown (or at least offer).
- Plan, host and execute the bachelorette party with the help of the bridesmaids. You can ask the bride for input on the types of things she likes to do, or wants to do for her bachelorette party...but try to make it a surprise (unless she hates surprises)! It will be much more meaningful that way!
- Help the bride with anything she needs help with! This could include:
- Helping the bride research vendors if she hasn't already chosen them
- Making phone calls to vendors
- Helping with any DIY projects the bride has decided to endure (favors, invitations, save-the-dates, etc)
- Purchase wedding day attire. The bridal party is traditionally responsible for paying for the dress, jewelry, shoes (and paying for hair and makeup the day of). Sometimes a bride may opt to purchase some or all of these items for her bridal party, but I wouldn't count on it. Accepting the position of MoH or bridesmaid is kind of like an unwritten contract. Everyone should take into account the fact that they are going to be spending a small (or large!) chunk of change on certain items/events for the bride and groom's big day. If you can't afford it, let your bride know. She can work something out with you, or try to stay within your budget. Don't be afraid to tell her!!!
- Help keep the rehearsal running smoothly! Keep everyone in line. Many times, the venues only allow an hour or so for the pre-wedding rehearsal, and people can get carried away very quickly with chit chat and goofing around. Save that for the rehearsal dinner!
- Help keep the bride sane! She is going to have a million and one things running through her head on her big day (especially if she is the Type A sort of bride).
- Hold onto the groom's ring during the ceremony. Some brides leave the rings with the ring bearer until it is time to exchange them.
- Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony
- Arrange the bride's train at the appropriate times during the ceremony as needed.
- Stand as a witness (and sign!) for the marriage license, if necessary.
- Give a speech/toast during the reception
- Help with any other duties the bride may need help with
Whew!! That's all I can think of for now.. if I remember any more, I'll add them later. Hopefully this can help someone so they don't have to endure the stress that I am with the whole process... More to come! :)
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