'Say Yes to the Dress' is a Liarface...

...so are all those other wedding dress shopping shows. Sometimes they show minor mental breakdowns while brides are dress shopping. But I feel like the brides and mom's are on their semi-best behavior when they are being filmed.

Here's a list of awkwardness/frustrations and thoughts that I experienced while dress shopping. Have fun.

Thoughts about getting nekked/trying on the dresses with the sales girl in the dressing room:

• Um...can you turn around please and not look at my boobies and fat belly?
• There's no way in hell my fat ass is fitting in that dress. But if you want me to try it on!
• If you pull it down anymore its going to rip. I'm not paying for that!
• That dress is F-U-G-L-Y. Who put that in here?! I didn't pick that! If you grabbed that for me you need to be fired.
• I HEARD A RIP! I HEARD A RIP! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!
• 
  I have to pee. If you tighten that dress any tighter, I'm peeing on you.
• When you come to work tomorrow, you should put on MORE deodorant. Maybe some perfume.I know this job is hard with lifting your arms above your head constantly and what not.. but puh-lease! It smells.
• I know you're thinking "God I fucking hate this job. All these bitchy brides coming into the store every day. Stop yelling at me! I'm just trying to do my job! UGH! I need a new job!" How do I know? You wince too much and your smile is fake.
• I look like a fat $5 whore.
• What the flying frick is up with these mirrors? It's like being at a carnival at the house of mirrors. Big! Fat! Skinny! Short! Wide! Tall! Thin! WooooOoOOOOOOoooOOOOooOo!
• A family of midgets could live under this dress.

Things I wanted to say to my mom but didn't...ok, ok. I DID say some of them....just some!

• Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. U-G-L-Y. UGLY!
• no no no no no no no
• It's what *I* want. ME. Not YOU. ME!
• I know you like it but it's too expensive. Are you paying for it? NO. PUT IT BACK. Also, it's ugly.
• If you don't stop crying about how much you like this hideous dress, I'm going to rip it off of me like the Hulk and storm out of the store in my underwear and bra-less titties.
• I hate you.
• Can we go now? My self esteem is even lower now than when we came into the store.
• I- DON'T-LIKE-THAT-STYLE-OF-DRESS. STOP handing it to me! STOP STOP STOP! AHKJAHHGDAJS!
• How come when I find a dress *I* like, you think it's the most atrocious thing on the planet?!
• Can't you just keep your opinion to yourself and let me pick a dress *I* want!?
• But I want you to like it tooooooooo!
• I hate you.

Cue mental breakdown....

• UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! I don't care anymore! Let's just get one so I can go home!!!!!
• (while stomping feet on the ground like a 5 year old) NOOOOOOOOO!!! NO NO NO NO NO! It's ugly!
• Do you like it or not?!!?! "Maybe" is not an answer!
• I can't get out of this dress! UGGGHHH! It's stuck! Get me out! Now now now! *whimpering* It huuurrrrrrts!!! Ow ow ow ow ow.
• I'm not going to cry about this dress so stop waiting for the cliche tv reaction! I said I like it so let's buy it and go home!

Just in case you're wondering.. I'm not bridezilla. I try really hard not to get mad at people, but I get frustrated really easily and want to just give up on these types of things. ESPECIALLY when it comes to clothes. Pretty sure I made my mom mad a couple of times... but it happens! Just imagine lots of irritation... think HULK SMASHING thoughts, and go back and read it all again.

It's ok to hate me now.

The Deets Part 2- THE dress

Read part 1! The Overall Concept


Ignore the website I am linking to for the photos.. Pretty sure it's a scam, but it's the only place I can find pictures of my dress!!

Zac- NO LOOKING! Avert your eyes now and close this window!

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Ok. So I got my dress at Alfred Angelo  in Springfield, VA. We went to a TON of dress shops before going there.. I had originally thought I wanted a different dress from AA, but when we went back a second time to try it on again, I decided I wanted to try on the dress I ended up buying a second time because it looked better on me in pictures.

When you are trying on dresses, if the bridal shop allows you to, I HIGHLY recommend you have someone take pictures of you from every side and angle. The mirrors in these places are always tilted weird and make you look a bit different than you really do. I thought a LOT of dresses looked good on me in the shop, but when we got home and I looked at the pictures, I looked terrible in many of them.

Here is the dress I originally chose. For some reason Blogger won't let me upload a picture so you will just have to click! I was going to get the color portion in their Cherry Red. I wanted an all red dress, but couldn't find one that wasn't ugly or easily accessible (everything had to be ordered as a sample, and none of the dress shops EVER called me back... more on that later).

After much consideration, and about 30 minutes of standing on the little podium thing and looking at myself in the mirror, here is the dress I finally chose, but in Ivory not white AA Style 2057 (discontinued):

The seamstress is going to remove the little white ribbon under the bust, and replace it with their Cherry red fabric, and re-apply the applique. You can see on the photo of the back side- the ribbon goes all the way around, makes a bow, and the bow's tail extends the length of the dress. This will all be red too! I need some color since I couldn't have my red dress!!

I love the train on this dress. It's not to long, and just beautiful! It definitely goes with the 1930's look I was hoping for!

The best part about this dress? It only cost $380.00 without alterations!!!! It was a discontinued style, and was the last one in the store. I believe, it was originally about a $1,000-$1,200 dress. I can't remember. Alterations are costing about $250ish which still isn't too bad! AND it fit. Everywhere except for the boobs. I'm lacking in that department. But the rest of the dress fit like a glove!

What do you think?!