The Deets Part 2- THE dress

Read part 1! The Overall Concept


Ignore the website I am linking to for the photos.. Pretty sure it's a scam, but it's the only place I can find pictures of my dress!!

Zac- NO LOOKING! Avert your eyes now and close this window!

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Ok. So I got my dress at Alfred Angelo  in Springfield, VA. We went to a TON of dress shops before going there.. I had originally thought I wanted a different dress from AA, but when we went back a second time to try it on again, I decided I wanted to try on the dress I ended up buying a second time because it looked better on me in pictures.

When you are trying on dresses, if the bridal shop allows you to, I HIGHLY recommend you have someone take pictures of you from every side and angle. The mirrors in these places are always tilted weird and make you look a bit different than you really do. I thought a LOT of dresses looked good on me in the shop, but when we got home and I looked at the pictures, I looked terrible in many of them.

Here is the dress I originally chose. For some reason Blogger won't let me upload a picture so you will just have to click! I was going to get the color portion in their Cherry Red. I wanted an all red dress, but couldn't find one that wasn't ugly or easily accessible (everything had to be ordered as a sample, and none of the dress shops EVER called me back... more on that later).

After much consideration, and about 30 minutes of standing on the little podium thing and looking at myself in the mirror, here is the dress I finally chose, but in Ivory not white AA Style 2057 (discontinued):

The seamstress is going to remove the little white ribbon under the bust, and replace it with their Cherry red fabric, and re-apply the applique. You can see on the photo of the back side- the ribbon goes all the way around, makes a bow, and the bow's tail extends the length of the dress. This will all be red too! I need some color since I couldn't have my red dress!!

I love the train on this dress. It's not to long, and just beautiful! It definitely goes with the 1930's look I was hoping for!

The best part about this dress? It only cost $380.00 without alterations!!!! It was a discontinued style, and was the last one in the store. I believe, it was originally about a $1,000-$1,200 dress. I can't remember. Alterations are costing about $250ish which still isn't too bad! AND it fit. Everywhere except for the boobs. I'm lacking in that department. But the rest of the dress fit like a glove!

What do you think?!

Wedding Etiquette- Maid of Honor Duties

Being only 24, I haven't had the opportunity to participate in any weddings. Except when I was 5 or 6 and my sister and I were flower girls in my parent's wedding...but that doesn't count. I have attended countless weddings as a guest, however. I had never been to a bridal shower until I had my own, and I have never been to a bachelorette party.

So what's a girl (or bridesmaid) to do when she is put in the position to take on the duties that require her to throw a bachelorette party/bridal shower or any other wedding related events? Learn.

If you don't know how to do a math problem, you try to figure it out on your own at first. If you can't figure it out, maybe you do a little research...look for similar problems that have been solved and try again. If that doesn't work, maybe then you set aside your pride and ask someone for help.

It's the same concept when you are in someone's wedding. If you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, you ask OR you find out through research. Nowadays it is SO easy to find the answer to almost everything just by typing a word or phrase into Google. You just have to be willing to put a little effort into it (read- TRY) and wade through a couple useless websites/articles/blogs, etc... Go to your local library! I guarantee you will find at least a handful of books on wedding etiquette that include helpful information.

So what ARE the duties of your bridesmaids and Maid of Honor? I'm going to try and go over a few in the next couple of posts, based on what I've learned and from my own wedding experience...

*Edit: January 28th, 2011 @5:40pm. This is by no means a "you HAVE to do this" type of thing! Everyone's situation is different and every bride is different in the things she wants her bridal party to do/help her with...You may not have to lift a finger! This is just a compilation of the more traditional roles...* 

Maid of Honor (also- Matron of Honor if she is married):
If you have been chosen to be a Maid of Honor, it is most likely because the bride feels that you are her closest, truest friend (and sometimes relative), and she believes you will be there for her throughout the wedding planning process. The MoH is most often the best friend of the bride or sister.

Think of the MoH as a chairmanwoman of the board...a board of bridesmaids. It is your duty to keep everyone on the same page as far as wedding details/events go, and also to help keep the bride sane.

Often times, if the bride has selected multiple bridesmaids, they may not all know eachother or live in the same state. The MoH should initiate some ice breaking and contact the bridal party to get the ball rollin'. This can be done by making phone calls, or sending out an email to everyone. The MoH must always be very polite and tactful when sending emails, to ensure that no one takes anything said the wrong way. Sarcasm and humor can often come across as snarkiness in an email, even when it wasn't meant that way.

Now that we have that down... let's get into the nitty gritty.

Main Duties-Pre Wedding

• Be the bride's support! Not everything always goes as planned in the wedding process, and the bride might get overwhelmed at times. It helps to have someone to vent to.
• Keep in contact with all bridesmaids throughout the process and relay pertinent information as necessary.
• Throw the bride and groom an engagement party. Now this is something that not many people do anymore (I've never been to one)... and often, if they are having one, the bride or groom's family throws it instead. Check with the bride and groom's family and see if they are planning one first. If you decide to do it, consider making it a surprise, but you could also ask the bride if she wants to have one. Many people decide to opt out because of cost. Parties get expensive!
• Host a bridal shower for the bride with the help of the bridesmaids. Traditionally, the MoH incurs the cost of the bridal shower, but in modern times (yea, modern) the MoH and bridesmaids often agree to share the costs. The MoH can also ask the bride or groom's family for input if they don't plan on throwing a separate shower. People have MORE THAN ONE? Apparently! I only had one...but I have met many people who have had as many as 5 bridal showers before their wedding!
• Help the bride shop for her wedding gown (or at least offer).
• Plan, host and execute the bachelorette party with the help of the bridesmaids. You can ask the bride for input on the types of things she likes to do, or wants to do for her bachelorette party...but try to make it a surprise (unless she hates surprises)! It will be much more meaningful that way!
• Help the bride with anything she needs help with! This could include:
• Helping the bride research vendors if she hasn't already chosen them
• Making phone calls to vendors
• Helping with any DIY projects the bride has decided to endure (favors, invitations, save-the-dates, etc)
• Purchase wedding day attire. The bridal party is traditionally responsible for paying for the dress, jewelry, shoes (and paying for hair and makeup the day of). Sometimes a bride may opt to purchase some or all of these items for her bridal party, but I wouldn't count on it. Accepting the position of MoH or bridesmaid is kind of like an unwritten contract. Everyone should take into account the fact that they are going to be spending a  small (or large!) chunk of change on certain items/events for the bride and groom's big day. If you can't afford it, let your bride know. She can work something out with you, or try to stay within your budget. Don't be afraid to tell her!!!
• Help keep the rehearsal running smoothly! Keep everyone in line. Many times, the venues only allow an hour or so for the pre-wedding rehearsal, and people can get carried away very quickly with chit chat and goofing around. Save that for the rehearsal dinner!

Main Duties - Wedding Day

• Help keep the bride sane! She is going to have a million and one things running through her head on her big day (especially if she is the Type A sort of bride).
• Hold onto the groom's ring during the ceremony. Some brides leave the rings with the ring bearer until it is time to exchange them.
• Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony
• Arrange the bride's train at the appropriate times during the ceremony as needed.
• Stand as a witness (and sign!) for the marriage license, if necessary.
• Give a speech/toast during the reception
• Help with any other duties the bride may need help with

Whew!! That's all I can think of for now.. if I remember any more, I'll add them later. Hopefully this can help someone so they don't have to endure the stress that I am with the whole process... More to come! :)

The Deets Part 1- The Overall Concept

Now don't get me wrong... I know I sound like Negative Nancy pants on here... but I really AM excited to be getting married! I just envisioned the process going a little differently, and going more smoothly than it has been.

So let's talk positive wedding things!

When are we getting married?
April 16th, 2011 (SOON!)

Where are we getting married?
The Clubs at Quantico- Quantico Marine Corps Base

Wedding colors?
Red, black and white. So creative!

Theme?
No theme really. I wanted our apparel to be 1930's inspired, so my dress is as close as I could find to that Hollywood Glam style without being super poofy, and the guys are wearing modern Zoot Suits (more on the clothing later!). I'm excited. Everything else is really just pieces of us spread throughout the venue (skulls-Zac, Damask patterns-me).

Cake/Cake Topper?
HA! Prepare to be confused/concerned/question our sanity and taste...

We got our cake topper from http://www.goreydetails.net/ for $20.00. This is where the skulls come in! But I like it too...

It's a pretty hefty cake topper! It's solid and sturdy though, so it will definitely last for a long time as long as one of us (aheeeem *me*) doesn't drop it.

The wedding cake is going to be 3 layers in a pentagon (I think) shape with Damask flourishes on each side, and ribbon lining the bottom of each layer. I was trying to find some pretty silk ribbon with skulls on it, but I haven't been able to find any I like, so we may just go with plain black or red ribbon.

Each tier is going to be different flavors with different fillings!
Top: Red velved with Bailey's Irish Cream filling
Middle: German Chocolate with Pecan filling
Bottom: Lemon cake with a raspberry filling

DELISH!!

20 Things

Here are some growed up lessons I have learned since getting engaged and starting the wedding planning process:

1. Weddings are expensive no matter how cheap you try to make them
2. DIY stuff takes A LOT of patience
3. DIY stuff takes A LOT of time
4. DIY stuff takes A LOT of  wasted materials practice PATIENCE
5. I don't have a lot of patience
6. When your mom and dad say they will give you money to pay for it and tell you that you can have your wedding wherever you want, but they are only contributing THIS much; they are big fat liars
7. Your parents will have a say in where you have your wedding because THEY are paying and THEY don't want to pay for that.   And that is too expensive. You don't want to have "your" wedding there. blah blah blah
8. Even if they don't do it intentionally, every argument you have with your parents after they have offered to contribute will contain some form of this phrase: "Well, we are paying for some of your wedding. We can take our money back if you want to continue arguing with us."
9. When you ask your fiance for input and he says "I don't care. It's whatever you want baby." Just take his word for it. He REALLY doesn't care.
10. He kinda cares.
11. Sometimes.
12. If you are never one to be the center of attention, now is still not really your time.
13. It's kinda about everyone else too
14. Suck it up, shut your mouth, grit your teeth and smile
15. Follow number 14 every time you get annoyed with someone
16. Follow number 14 every time you want to rip someone's eyeballs out
17. If you can't follow 14, just walk away and drink some booze. Or buy something expensive and useless for yourself.
18. Wedding planning is fun
19. Wedding planning is fun when things go your way
20. Wedding planning is F-U-N!

Oops

I kinda forgot about the blog. I am a terrible, terrible person... or just busy.

Since I last posted about getting engaged, I have started a new job and have been busy with wedding planning stuff (only not really because I only do things in small spurts) and a bunch of other random things including numerous family gatherings.

I'm tired. I want to sleep for a couple of days, and I want to not have to plan any more wedding stuff because I hate it.

I don't mind the planning part. It's everything else that comes with it that I hate:
- dealing with people who suck
- spending money we don't have
- trying on clothes/apparel necessary for the wedding INCLUDING the dress
- realizing I'm a chubster and need to lose weight
- no motivation to lose said weight
- caring, but not REALLY caring about losing said weight
- scheduling everything to fit in with everyone else's schedules because they are busy all the time and our wedding doesn't take precedence
- crappy former venues that suck
- pending lawsuit with said former venue who sucks because we want our deposit back
- former venue owners who are playing dirty and trying to ruin my wedding
- my REALLLLYYY negative attitude that has developed recently about the whole process
- the fact that I'm ready to just throw my arms up in the air, stop planning anything, and just show up on the day of the wedding drunk and not care about any of it (HA! Yea right.)

*Vomit*

Ok. I'm done with that now.